How I Keep Organised

How I Keep Organised

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi everyone,

I thought it would be a good idea to lay out some ways I keep organised during my university semester and also just in general, I think during this crazy time it’s a good way to show people how to stay on track and not worry about being forgetful. I am always overly organised, as my friends and family say, but that’s because without this I would forget to do basic things such as finishing up bits of my assignments or replying to emails, I don’t know why but that’s just the way my brain functions. Also, I see organisation to allow me to breath more and let me concentrate on relaxing instead of always thinking about what I have to do, responsibility wise. I always feel confident in the fact that I will always get everything done because of my organisation so again, it keeps me calmer and allows me to enjoy more free time instead of worrying about a million things I might have to do daily.

Here are the 4 main ways I keep organised and how it helps me be more “on time” and not forgetful!

  • Keep notes everywhere: I either keep notes on anything I have to do using the sticky notes app on my windows pc or on a pinboard above my desk. It just lets me keep all my important and short term “to-dos” in one place and I don’t have the think about them all the time as they appear on my screen as soon as I turn on my pc. For example, on my pc sticky notes right now I have a note that breaks down my assignment due in July, how many hours I have left to take off work and my blog ideas. It is just simple things that I would not usually remember but are stored on my pc and always there when I do any personal admin or university work.

 

  • Put small notes on your desktop calendar: in addition to using sticky notes, if I have a simple yet small one-time thing to do, I add it to my calendar on my pc. If I use sticky notes, its usually for a “to do” that’s really long, like I mentioned my assignment break down, whereas on the calendar its simple things. This is also synced with my iPhone so I can add or delete these small to-dos from either pc or phone. For example, I have a small reminder that this post is going up on the 26th as I am writing it on the 24th, just to make sure I don’t forget the things I need to do for its release. I have my calendar open on startup when I open my pc so as soon as I need to do something, the calendar pops up and I know exactly the small things I have to do for the day, the sticky notes pop up on startup too. Additionally, using the calendar lets me plan my short term to-dos more into the future, for example, I need to call my bills company on 2 weeks for something, I can put that 2 weeks ahead and have it pop up as a reminder closer to the date, and again I will always have it on startup as the calendar opens! If you want to know how to sync your Outlook calendar to your iPhone or how to get your calendar to open on startup on pc then I have these links here and here, this is what I used to do this.

 

  • Layouts: as mentioned before for my assignments and other long notes, I do layouts to make things simpler for myself to understand. It also makes things easier to write and do as if you do something in smaller parts it’s always easier, make things more basic for yourself, why struggle!

 

  • Keep a diary: I keep a small note pad with some long term to-dos, also as a back up to my sticky notes just in case I lose them. It includes things like what I need to pack for holiday or wish lists, people’s birthdays and stuff like that. I know you can use the calendar for this too but sometimes I do find it helpful to have some personal stuff like the mentioned above in a secure paper format as it’s not something I really need to have on-screen or on my calendar when I am in a lesson or at work.

 

I hope you have enjoyed reading through some of the things I do to keep organised, and I hope they help you too, let me know if they have or which ones you used. Keep safe and see you in the next post!

Love, Kasia x

Germany: March 2020

Germany: March 2020

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Here are some images of my time in Germany. I went to visit my boyfriend who was doing a semester abroad and during that time we spent some time exploring Cologne and nearby cities. Enjoy!

(Apologies the images are not in the usual theme, in the photo stories I like to keep them unedited!)

Arriving:

IMG_8410

Arriving in Cologne, 1st March 18:10

Very excited as this was the first time I have seen him since the end of January, which is long for us. We didn’t get to spend our birthdays or Valentines together so this was exciting for us as we would get to make up for the lost time.

Our First Day Out:

After arriving, he took me out to explore the nearby town to his flat, safe to say I enjoyed my time and my views, but soon to be sick and lay in bed for half my time there, but at least we were together.

After Sickness:

After I got better, Dawid then shortly became sick and we sat like that for a whole week out of the 2 weeks I was there but like I said, at least we were together. When we got better I had to take some photos for an assignment around Cologne Cathedral, it was gorgeous and very historical in terms of that we learnt a lot. See for your self!

Chocolate Factory:

After meeting some of his new friends and getting all lessons and assignments finished, we took a sweet trip to the Lindor chocolate factory to further explore and take advantage of the little time we have together.

Small Town:

To round of our trip, we and his friends went to a small nearby town, Monschau, it looked fairytale-like and I could not stop taking pictures. We had dinner, go to know each other and visited some ruins on the hillside that gave us a view of the whole town.

Time To Go:

Before I knew it my time was up and I had to leave to go back to the UK, one last drink though! Corona was just around the corner so I was a bit stressed making my way home but I made it safely. We were sad that I had to leave but I was happy for him experiencing something new in a different country.

Hope you enjoyed this photo story and let me know if you want me to make more.

Love, Kasia x

2020: The Year From Hell: An Update

2020: The Year From Hell: An Update

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi everyone,

(Enjoy some pictures throughout of my quarantine)

I know the world is in shambles right now and I have been gone for a while. I guess a lot just happened as soon as we started the new year and I needed time to process.

As you all know, we are currently in a pandemic, which is not great. I have no words to currently describe how saddening the situation is all around the world and how I wish we could just pass this year without ever thinking of it ever again. I’m not going to reprimand you all on the situation as that’s all that has been on the news for the past 4 months, so; wash your hands, social distance and take some time off. This is all hard on everyone right now, so I want you to take some time to work on yourselves and prioritise. Many of us now have lost jobs, can’t see loved ones or have many other things ruined due to the current climate so just take some time to breathe, I know it’s not great and won’t solve all your problems but just being in the moment right now might be a little helpful. Being in the moment is hard for me, I am always the kind of person to plan ahead and currently I can’t do that so that strikes me a lot too.

Personally wise, I have been okay. I’m doing a lot of private work to deal with current issues. Most will be posted here. I am trying to get some photo stories together on quarantine and my time in Germany so that has been keeping me busy. Also artwork, I do like to paint and draw so I might create a section here to show you guys some of that, let me know.

I have had a hard time this year as many. Firstly, as you know if you have read my last post, I lost my dog at the end of January so that has been really hard on me. I decided to get my first tattoo in his honour (image below) I really like it, it kind of felt right to do so and made my grieving a little easier as he will now always be with me and by my side.

tat

Also, in one of my past posts, I mentioned my year-long placement ventures, which I finally found one and it was great but unfortunately, that will not be happening due to Corona. I was devastated but tried to look on the bright side, I get to do my final year and graduate with all my friends so that’s what got me out through the issue best, and of course, their support and my boyfriends help. This placement was also going to help us move in together when we graduated but I guess we will just do it differently and it might take a little longer, but that’s okay we have to take things as they come this year I guess.

Talking about academics, I know some of you reading this might have found out not long ago your GCSE and A-Level grades will be based on predicted grades, which is not right. A lot of people are having to close businesses and losing jobs which is also not right. This whole craziness is ruining so many opportunities it’s actually mind-blowing and I cannot believe how strong you have all been through this. If I was in this situation I would have blown up but I see a lot of you working on the government’s decisions, which I applaud you for doing so.

I just thought to check in, I am taking it slow as most but will try to get stuff on here now as all of my university stuff is online and nearly finished. I was supposed to go on holiday but that has been cancelled too so I now have some time on my hands. I am currently writing a short story as an assignment and thinking of posting it here too but I will have to see copyright permissions first so I will update you on this too. My pets have been keeping me busy and entertained so that is a plus of being home all the time.

dohhhh

I know its easier said than done but try and process this situation slowly, the whole world is panicking right now and we just need to try and keep calm as hopefully, this will blow over. Check-in with family and friends, do something creative, keep entertained, make a difference. The world is standstill right now, so this is your opportunity to get out there and try something new or something you already love, don’t waste this time “off”.

Stay safe, Love Kasia x

To My Best Friend

To My Best Friend

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi all. This is a very very VERY delayed post and even as I am writing it I know I should have posted it sooner. A lot of things have happened since I have been gone but that is not important right now. One main event that is important however is my dog; Bandit.

He was sick, very sick, and I didn’t know. No one told me anything until the day. They had an excuse, so I am not mad at anyone. It was the day of my exam to finish of the first semester of my second year at university and I was already stressed enough. I got into the exam and while doing it I felt like something was wrong but I tried to ignore it as much as I could. When the exam finished, I was happy but still felt like I could have done better.

I get a text from my mom that she has bad news and a million things sprung to my head. She said that Bandit, my eldest dog, was in the animal hospital because he had stopped eating. I was very concerned and the moment I got through the door of my flat I started crying.

I have had this dog since I was 9. I’m now 20. 11 years he has been there in my life being my absolute rock. He was there for all the crying, fighting, boyfriends, friends, celebrations, downfalls, goodbyes and hellos and much more. And now he could be gone and I wouldn’t even get to say goodbye. Last time I saw him it was just after Christmas and when I was leaving, I remember him lying on the sofa, I gave him a little scratch behind his ear and said “be good” and left. If I knew this would be the last time, I would have said so much more. I would have said that I love you, so much, and that I don’t want you to go and that I am not ready yet. I would have said that he’s the best thing that happened to me in my life and everything he has ever done is forgiven, all the peed on clothes and ruined shoes. I would have said that I will do everything to help with the pain just for you to stay.

My parents took him to the animal hospital and the vets did as much as they could, but he had everything you could think of. Failing kidneys, issues with his blood, back, heart, everything. He passed between 9.10-9.15pm of a heart attack.

I was on the coach home but I didn’t know he passed yet, my mom told me when I got in the car after I got to Birmingham after midnight. But when I was on the coach, at about 9.12pm, a really sad song came on my phone when I was listening to music. I looked up at the time and thought that I will be home soon and I can see my baby. But then I felt a rush of sadness and cold and started to tear up a bit but I didn’t understand why. Well, when my mom told me what time he passed I knew why. I am not a spiritual or religious person, but I feel he was saying goodbye. I didn’t get there in time to say it to him so he came and said it to me in spirit. This might be silly to some but to me, for some reason, it makes sense.

ban

The first few days were empty. The first time I fed and walked my other two dogs I felt wrong, that is the only way I can describe it, just wrong. First time I let them out in the garden and called them back in I shouted “Bandit, Leo, Dexter” as I usually do and only two came in and that was it. No third dog. My heart hurts as much as it did then.

I blame myself in a way. For the last year and a half, I moved away from home so I did not see him a lot. I wasted my time with him, if I didn’t move away I would have had more time. I also blame myself for not saying goodbye properly and in a way I’m mad at him. I just wish he could have held on a little longer just for me to see him one more time. I’m mad at myself because he was in pain and I wasn’t there to help. I’m mad at myself because he was surrounded by strangers and not his family. He was alone and I will forever hold that within myself. The only thing I can keep to not make me go crazy is the fact that he waited to an extent. He waited for me to grow up, finish school, find my life partner, finish my teen years and he waited to see me do well in life, and to him, that was enough. He did his job of protecting me and helping me and he saw it was appropriate to leave, and I will forever be thankful that he didn’t see that earlier.

Another thing; I cried for the first two days and then I stopped and today is the first day again where I cried. I feel like I am grieving wrong? I feel like I am pushing him to the back of my mind and not working through this correctly and now writing this is the first step.

I guess telling you all this is my way of coping; I could go on for longer about the kind of dog he was etc but I don’t think that matters. He was a good boy, the best! And the cheekiest.

I have had a few cries in between writing these paragraphs and editing, and if you are reading this in hopes of me giving you advice on how to deal with pet loss then I don’t think I can do that for you right now. I am still a bit emotionally unset about this situation and putting on a brave face for my friends and family, but I will update you.

All I can say is I provided him with the best life, all the possible belly rubs, snacks and unconditional love. I did that until the day he was gone and I hope wherever he is there is no pain, just happiness and that we meet again one day.

For you Bandit, I will miss you forever and promise to make your brothers lives just as great as yours, 27/01/2020.

Love Kasia x

My 4 Main Tips On Writing Essays

My 4 Main Tips On Writing Essays

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi guys, I have been gone for the last week but with a good reason! I was in the hospital due to my own stupidity and ignoring my health, very painful. But a week forward and here I am with another post and another apology for no posts, some things never change.

Since most of you are now back at university like me, it’s also very probable you have some assignments due in soon, like essays, also like me. And most likely you are panicking and doing it last minute, like me! no? okay just me being last minute Larry, Anyway, I know the stress and panic to do with essays and presentations very well which is why I wanted to give you guys something simple to follow while planning or doing your first drafts.

So, I gathered 4 main tips I use on all my essays that I can share with you guys and maybe make your essay writing a little less stressful.

 

  1. Do not over complicate your words and sentence structures – I know because you think you’re at university you think you have to use all these fancy words to impress your lecturers, but it actually isn’t so! In my first individual assignment (yes because sometimes you have to work in a group, on an essay, I know weird) I over complicated my sentence structure and used some words that I didn’t even know what they fully meant, and my teacher sent back my first draft with a big “NO” to my writing style. I over did it, confused myself, confused my teacher and it was just no good. By no means does this mean that you should answer your essays with “this means that… which proves my point. Next is…” That is too basic, just write with the words that you know, maybe add a few other variations of words but don’t go overboard!
  2. Reference valid sources – No Wikipedia, no random Facebook or Instagram links, no uncredited web pages. Make sure if you are referencing something in your work you can find the following in: who published it, when, where, and the name of the company (if the text is online) or name of the publisher (if the text is a book or a journal) Because if you don’t reference right you will get marked down because they are not accredited academic sources, sure they might prove the point you are trying to make in your essay but if they don’t have any academic accreditation they will not be validated by your teacher. Also make sure you are using the referencing guide from Harvard for your essays, unless your university has its own. If you are struggling to find accredited sources for your work, type in the topic area of your question and the “ac” at the end of it, meaning academic, most of the articles that will pop up then will be scholar articles and will be valuable in your assignments.
  3. Make sure you actually answer the question – The amount of times I have gone through half of my essay and then gone back to the question to then see I have not been answering it fully is uncounted for, this is such a common mistake and its okay to make it, just make sure every time you write a paragraph, go back and check if it is fully addressing the question, and do that again when you finish your essay. Always check before you submit because you could be losing out on easy marks! And we know every mark counts.
  4. PLEASE read the brief! – Relating to the last point, make sure your essay is following the brief and the given marking criteria, because then you will know exactly what your teacher will be looking for in your essay, and once again you will not be missing those easy marks. Briefs also help you plan your essay if that’s what you like to do, you can break down easily what to put in every paragraph once you know what is expected of you to write about and include.

 

Now after all these good points to help you write the best essays possible make sure most of all that you don’t over stress. Essays are hard I know but it’s not worth losing your head about. Ask for help, speak to your friends and arrange meetings with your teachers if you need the help or don’t understand something. It’s better for you to reach out and get the best grades possible rather than sitting at home and struggling for basic marks!

Love, Kasia x

 

Acceptance

Acceptance

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to write about something that has been on my mind for a while and I feel the need to share. Acceptance is such a common issue among people my age and its mostly not dealt with, pushed to the back of our minds, and never looked at again fully. I want to touch on the main issues with acceptance that I see online and my own experience of acceptance in particular that has been on my mind.

When you think of acceptance, the first thing you probably think of is issues to do with body image and “If I don’t get enough likes on this selfie I’m going to take it down” kind of thing. And that’s right, that’s what I want to talk about first as it is so common even I catch my self doing it, not the selfie thing of course.

But yes social media acceptance is a big issue that needs some light shed on it, as I consider it to be absolutely stupid but a common habit in the 21st century. Why do we need some sort of stamp of approval from a bunch of people we barley know or used to go to school with? We post something mostly now to seek acceptance from friends, family, co-workers, even the random people who view your profile, and barley post to fulfil our selves and the sort of image we want to see of ourselves on the web. We think of others opinions first even before we post. I catch myself posting too many pictures of my dogs? better delete those before someone that I used to go to high school with thinks I don’t have a life and I’ve become a dog lady. You want to post a nice picture of yourself before a night out? be careful! think! others might say your outfit is too revealing, or too prude or anything else they can think of to lower your acceptance of the person you show them online.

Online opinions of others that you barley see, most of them anyway, knock your acceptance of yourself and what you give out to the media when in reality all these things should not matter. If you enjoy posting about your life or the events you attend or choice you make then accept that and love doing it, don’t be ashamed to do it because others are not that “in to it”.

Another form of acceptance I wanted to talk about is a little more offline and more to do with the choices you make continually, every day in life. It being education, work or household related, you should love how you live your life and take small consideration of others opinions, unless they are there to help you and not put you down. By this I don’t mean if your failing high school or something like that, don’t accept that because that’s not what I intend for this post to mean, I want you to see that this is an issue, accept it as a problem and then start doing something about it. So, then you can later be happy and content with yourself that you acknowledged the problem and made it work, to now being able to accept your current life situation.

I want you all to be more open to the situation life throws at you, they might be terrible right now and you may be very confused as to what to do, but the more you dewell on rejecting this situation and thinking of its cons it will get worse, try accept it and work with it, let it bring some sort of light in to your life no matter how hard it can be. All things happen for a reason and sometimes acceptance is all you can do as running from certain things can only make them worse.

I will give you a current situation I am in now and have been for the past year to give you some perspective on what I mean. My school teachers, and I mean all but two of them, did not support my course choice for university. They did not encourage me as much as they did to the other students who chose to do media. All they said to me was that I am moving to far away, it will cause problems, it’s not a popular course, etc. But I took the people that were on my side and communicated with them, I expressed my happiness to them and accepted the idea that not everyone will like what I do and THAT IS FINE. Later down the line my parents were also added to this list of people who are not really fond of my course and they also expressed to me why they don’t like it, and that’s okay that’s their opinion, they still don’t consider my course to be “credible” at university, whatever they think that means.

But a year and a half later I am still here, dealing with this situation but learning to accept it as I can’t change someone’s opinion, I can’t make them like or be interested in what I do. They have their opinions and I have mine, I am happy with what I do and what I create and put out in to the world. By the way, this in no means is a way to call out my teachers or people being unsupportive, I am just giving out my experiences and how I feel, to be able to put this idea of acceptance in to your mind. They chose not to be a part of my life in a way of accepting what I do and that’s on them. YOU DO YOU!

I just wanted to put this out there, for anyone in a similar situation to mine, or anyone else struggling with online or offline acceptance as I have described here. I think if you just took a step back and considered what you do and decided if it actually is for you and if you love where your life is right now, this idea of acceptance will be much easier to adapt into your lifestyle. Accepting, fixing and moving on is a part of our life and it should be more commonly discussed and applied to become our better selves.

Love, Kasia x

Second Year At University: Is It All That Scary?

Second Year At University: Is It All That Scary?

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi guys,

Not to be contradicting to the title of the blog post first-hand here, but, I would say that I have been limited to my 1 post a week schedule from studying as a second-year student. So yes, it is a bit scary.

That’s it, end of the blog post!

No, I’m just kidding, but yes, I do have less free time now that I am back as a second-year student which explains the lack of content. There are lots of new things I have keep on top of that are not part of my course directly and when you hit the second year you probably will too. Today I want to go through the kind of things that are expected of you as a second-year student, some of these things will be tailored to my university in particular but I will try and keep it as mainstream as possible for any of you reading out there to relate.

First thing I do want to honestly say is that I have no idea where my first year went! One second it was here, and now it’s gone, just disappeared. I know they said it will go quickly but really that quickly? In all honesty, the first year was great because I see it to kind of ease you into what you are about to study and allows you to see if the course you have picked is for you. Also having the first year not count towards your final grade is also another additional thing that I would say is great because once again it gives you that time to find out if this is really for you. Don’t get me wrong, they say it does not count, but you need to at least pass every assignment to be accepted to continue the course, so don’t take it for a joke.

Enough about the first year, now on to what I have experienced and could say about surviving my first week as a second year. Now like I said I do not mean to alarm you, but I am not using the term SURVIVING lightly here, it is very hard. No “don’t worry you will get the hang of it, you have lots of time to learn” it’s more like “Welcome back guys, hope you all had a good summer and said goodbye to your friends and family, here is 10 essays, 3 portfolios and 5 exams”.

It’s been a week. 2 break downs and I am here for the next week now. I am swamped with work, but not in a bad way. The above is dramatized obviously but I do mean it in a way because the people who worked with you in your first year such as lecturers or group leader are most likely to be working with you this second year and they will expect more of you and its right that they do. You had your “introduction” being the first year and now it’s time to get down to business. They expect you to do lots of reading beyond the unit guides, lots of your own research and some extra curriculum activities too. Personally, I part take in being a student ambassador for my university, part of a talent program we also offer here and now just started studying to be a Microsoft Office Word specialist. And I moan about not having free time to write? and not to mention my part-time job… Sorry! I need the experience.

Within the first week, I was introduced to all my assignments for the first semester, ending in December, and I see that as being a good and bad thing. Bad meaning, I got overwhelmed and had a break down over the fact that this year will be really hard and I will be doing things I have never done before, such as conducting my own research based on primary research or setting up live promotional campaigns. But also good in the way that I was told straight off the bat that this is what I will be doing this year and I better get ready for it. So, my advice to you, if you just also started the second year, try and avoid breaking down but rather process the information calmly, make notes and be sure you are clear on what needs to be done for the semester. And definitely don’t sit in your bed, cry about it and eat a whole bar of Cadbury chocolate…It’s just an example… it’s not like I did it.

Also, in the first week I was introduced to placements, and what those are about is getting a job for either 4 weeks or 30 weeks in the field that you want to work in after you graduate, to get experience and find your ground. Now to make my life harder, I decided to go with a 30-week placement. I told my friends and they look at me as if I was crazy at first! Anyway, I decided to do a placement for this long period of time because I feel it will give me more experience in the field I want to work in, which is marketing, and also that it will give me a break from studying but also a taste of that adult life. Now I wish I had some advice for you about placements, but only just starting on my own placement journey I have very little advice to give. I would say one main thing though, which I know will be scary to a few of you, you should go into applying for placements with a career path in mind, ideally. If you don’t that’s fine you still have time to figure it out but I do consider it to make the process easier as I see one of my friends struggling with placement options as he does not really know what he wants to do, which adds more stress and you don’t want that.

I am considering doing a small series of blog posts with a placement update timeline, explaining my placement journey as I go, I will see through but it might be helpful to someone, let me know in the contact section of the blog.

So, to round off, those are my two main first week experiences of being a second-year student, and to answer the question above, yes it is scary. But don’t let that overtake you. I am scared of what’s to come for the next year as I type this, but I know I and anyone else feeling this way will get through it with the right people to talk to and a positive mindset.

Love, Kasia x

Why She Feels Like This

Why She Feels Like This

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

This short story was inspired by something I face every day in my life, and that is anxiety. Everyone has a different take on anxiety and what it feels like for them, so please accept this as my take on it and how it feels for me. The way I express this scenario is by no means telling you what everyone’s anxiety is like, as everyone is different. This story is dedicated to a scenario most people know, and dread the feeling of.

Love, Kasia x

 

 

She feels her hands start to get warm, and sight fuzzy. The wait makes her feel uneasy, going over this simple everyday scenario over and over again in her head; making sure she gets it right, no mess-ups for anyone to laugh at or question.

It very much so is such a simple scenario for many, but not for her. See, no one understands why she cannot do simple things like this, and when she speaks on them she feels silly and is degraded by everyone around her. No one understands unless they feel like she does, and not many do.

She takes a step forward as another person leaves, her hands now sweating and thoughts of leaving enter her mind. “I should go and just do this another time” and “This can wait, it’s not that important” But it is. She needs to do this as its part of everyday life. She starts to think deeper “I’m just overthinking this, I’m so weird” and “Why can’t I just do things like normal people”

But she is normal. She tells her self all the times that she is not, yet she is, she is just different, she processes and feels differently and the day she accepts it will be the day all these feelings will vanish and she will feel free and content with herself and her actions.

She looks around helplessly as if she is going to find one of her friends or anyone she knows around, so they could just do this one simple thing for her. Just so she does not have to speak for herself and not concentrate on the words coming out of her mouth. She wishes this feeling would go away, this aching feeling in her throat every time she is in public and has to speak, it is normal to speak to others this way, yet for some reason her mind leads her to think otherwise, she feels otherwise, she feels judgment and despair over her own words every time they leave her mouth in public. Surrounded by people she does not know.

Another person leaves, she once again steps forward. She is now the next person. This is the worst moment for her. The moment when everything she had planned starts to leave her mind because of pure stress of what she is going to say, will not be right, or someone will laugh, or think she looks odd. The action in question stops being her only issues. She takes in everything around her and on her into consideration too, any movement or sound she makes she feels as it will be judged by everyone.

All her biggest insecurities now come into play, everything she hates about herself is also becoming the problem of the situation. But not the action in its self. She has forgotten the aim of why she is where she is, what to say and how to act now, all she cares about is her appearance to others and how she behaves in this public environment.

She is now there.

At the point where she needs to speak for herself and do the thing she has been dreading.

 

“That will be £23.65, paying in cash or card darling?” says the cashier.

“Cash” She replies.

She pays that lady, takes her shopping, says thank you and walks away.

 

That was it. That was all. A one-minute interaction and all that stress, anxiety, thoughts and feelings all in one go. Yet it felt like a lifetime, she could not wait to leave the store and be alone, she could not wait for the cashier to finish scanning her things so she could say that one word and leave.

But that’s not all, there is also the after, now she thinks of what she said, was it okay? Was it what “normal” people would say? Did I look weird to anyone?

These thoughts will spiral in her mind until she gets home, and then even after that, even when she lies down to sleep that night she will think “did that cashier think I’m weird? What I said was okay I mean…” and here starts the conversation with herself, to reason with herself why this one thing she said to the cashier is definitely not “weird” and assuring herself that she was fine.

She finally falls asleep, until the next time she has to talk herself through why she feels like this.

Absence

Absence

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi everyone,

Sorry I have been MIA for a whole month. A lot has been going on. For one I moved back to Bournemouth for my studies which meant having to set up a whole new house arrangement and get settled in again, make it all cosy. Also since I have been back I did a lot of work on getting a part-time job, which was successful and now I am fully set for the school year. So now that everything is over and sorted I can get back to writing again, I have been doing some over this month, just a few bits of short stories here and there, but nothing quite finished. I aim to get my first short story out this week and back to regular writing too! I am very excited I have some new and fresh ideas, I am just sorry it took me a while to get there.

With it being my second year of study it will be a lot harder to write and keep to schedule, so I will aim to write once a week and upload. It being a short story or a blog post, I will try and alternate between the weeks to cater to everyone’s tastes!

Love you guys and I will be back later this week!

Love, Kasia x

P.S: enjoy the picture of my new pet, his name is Pickle. He has also been taking up a lot of my time ❤

pick