Category: Self Help

Just Figure It Out

Just Figure It Out

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi everyone,

I hear the above comment be uttered from so many older people around me it is ridiculous. This includes parents, relatives, teachers and even people that barely know me and many more. Everyone seems to have it all figured out and know what you should be doing, everyone seems to think that as soon as you hit 16 or 18 years of age that’s it, you know what you will do with your life and that’s final. Everyone is wrong.

You never know. EVER. What will be the “thing” you will be doing with or in your life.

Whoever is in your life, it being a guardian or even partner, no one should ever tell you what to do with our life, what job you should do, when you should stop educating yourself, who you should settle down with. No one has control over these choices except you and that is what you should always remember.

The pressure that is now put on young people to know what to be doing with their lives at such a young age is insane, parents try to create their “mini-me” and teachers try to form their ideal students for their own benefit. I know this from personal experience, teachers moulding their class just to show their perfect reputation and people telling you what to be just to make money in the future and not for happiness. Such pressure impacts mental health and wellbeing of young people, having to constantly think about what you will be with your life at the age of 16 is ridiculous and will eventually drive you insane, you are not even old enough to vote yet but of course, you must know what career you will be in for the next 50 or so years. This sort of behaviour towards young people needs to be stopped, we need time to think grow, develop. At the age of 16 or 18, you still don’t fully know about all that there is out in the world, different sectors of work, job titles, corporate ladders etc. This is your time to try new things, mess up and learn from your mistakes, not decide what will make you the most money when you’re older.

When I was 14 and I was confident I was going to be in Human Resources and study business at Birmingham University. Then at 16, I switched over to radio and production because I did GCSE media and really enjoyed it and now I’m studying Media and Communications at Bournemouth University and to be honest I still don’t know 100% if this is what I will be doing in 5, 10, or even 15 years. I love my course but career-wise I don’t know what I will be doing when I graduate but I know one thing; I’m doing something that I love and interests me which is the only thing I can ask of you. I was very much influenced by my teachers to pick such subjects and also by my parents as they have previous experience in the business sector, don’t let this be you. Do what you love and what makes you happy!

If anything, take these main three pieces of advice that I have created to do with this subject area from my own personal experiences:

  1. Take your time: you will not know what you will be doing with your life the second you turn, 16, 18 or even past that. You need time to develop as an individual, see what you love and don’t like and go from there. Slowly.
  2. Don’t be influenced: Do what YOU want, not your siblings, parents, family members, friends, partners. You do you.
  3. Do what you love: even if it’s something out of the ordinary, anything that doesn’t check the usual corporate boxes, just do it! If you love it that’s all you need as with passion will come work and everything will come together eventually.

This post might have been a bit all over the place, but I think I got my main point across. Do what you love and don’t let anyone tell you differently. You don’t have to have it all figured out yet just like I don’t. It takes time and care but make sure whatever you are doing now while figuring things out, makes you happy and allows you to be mentally and physically well.

Love, Kasia x

 

Issues With Student Jobs

Issues With Student Jobs

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi guys,

Firstly, to anyone reading this, if you have recently moved away to university from home then good for you. For some, it takes a lot of strength to start fresh and move away from everything you know and love or hate if you are looking for a change. When I moved, it was a way to meet new people and maybe start the beginning of a new chapter in my life, yet on the other hand, I was also leaving behind a few good things such as family, my boyfriend and of course my part-time job.

I loved my part-time job. Loved the staff and the work in all aspects. I worked in a library every Saturday with kids and elderly people, which were all the sweetest. But university in Bournemouth was something that I decided to be my next choice in education and career-wise full time, which meant I had to leave behind my job, update the old CV and move on.

I started applying to jobs even before I moved into my university housing on my campus, just a week before so they have enough time to get back to me. Then I applied in September for the whole month, Then October and so on till the middle of December.

I got nothing back.

I was positive that at this point I have applied to about 100 different jobs, Retail, Customer Service, Office, Warehouse even! You name a business in Bournemouth Square and I have probably applied to work there. As a student the loan you receive is not much most of the time, so I was really desperate, but I was still left with no employment. But none the less I needed to keep applying.

From such experience I gathered two main things, the first being the number of negative feelings that arise with constant rejection. By the time of the end of October, I was so sick of rejection that I was on the phone to my boyfriend saying I wanted to go home and quit university. Not because I was failing, finding it difficult or had no friends, simply due to the constant rejections of employers who were specifically looking for students, yet when given they rejected them. This also started to make me think if there is something wrong with me? am I not good enough for a simple student job that requires the bare minimum? Such self-doubt made me feel even worse on top of the already occurring stresses of being a university fresher and was not good for my mental health.

Advice for such feelings coming from constant rejections from employers from me would be to take it lightly as I wish I did. I know this is also easy said than done but once you think about the way employers look at you and your application you will understand more why you should not be upset over such rejections. They take your CV and if they see one thing they may not like they won’t take you and that’s it! Sometimes they might find the person they are looking for and not even get to your CV, It is honestly nothing personal and none of you should think about it to the point that I did. Do not let something that is a small area of your life take over, focus on your study, I know money is important, but you should always and always put your mental health first. If any further help is needed then talk to family, friends or even facilities offered by the university or institution you are studying at, but don’t sweat it alone.

Another thing is you have to think about, as mentioned earlier, think about the employers. They also have a set criteria for the person they are looking for and in that instant, it might just not be you. I know when you get rejected they seem like the worse people in the world but think, it might just not have been meant to be.

So, the main pieces of advice here are:

  1. put your mental health first. Don’t let a part-time job as a student take over your life.
  2. Get used to rejection. It will happen a lot so take it as something to learn from.
  3. There is always another way. It being help from friends or family financially for a bit or even getting funds from your university.

For me, in the end, it all worked out somewhat positively. I now have a summer job and will be saving all that money for my new flat for year two of university with my best friend. Try your best but if it does not work out there’s always help and alternatives like I took advantage of. Don’t risk your own sanity over a job for some extra cash, stay healthy.

Love, Kasia x

Relationships?

Relationships?

by Kasia x ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi everyone,

Relationships can be hard? amazing? fulfilling? annoying? All of these really! Relations are something that is different for everyone and the way your relationships develops with your “other” really depends on the way you are as a person and also how they are as a person. Writing this on my fourth-year anniversary with my boyfriend has made me realise how complicated sharing your life with someone else can be and what issues and benefits can come from it.

My first piece of advice would be to try and step away from comparing your relationship to the ones you may see online through platforms such as Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and anything else you may use. We have now developed a habit to compare our lives constantly to lives of celebrities or models online rather than appreciating what we already have in life which is really unhealthy for your self-esteem and the relationships you have with others. You start to look down on the people in your life because they do not compare to the people you see on your social media profiles, which lead very different lives to you and are completely different. I try to take small breaks from social media to help with this because at some point I have also caught myself comparing my relationships to others online as well and it later makes me feel horrible and creates a bad feeling in the relationship. Just try switch off for a while and spend time with your significant other, focus on them and what you have between each other, not the unrealistic relations online.

Another thing that I would stress to be very important in a relationship would be to listen to each other. I have seen first-hand relationships end because of lack of communication and converse of feelings between one another. You may not always see eye to eye on everything but its key to listen to the opinions and feelings of your other and try to compromise. Think about it, you know you probably don’t have the exact same interests and outlooks on life but you need to respect their voice as much as they respect yours. I and my boyfriend used to often argue about silly topics but if you take the patience and commitment to hear each other out, I promise you that you will see a difference in one another.

Discussion of relationships also includes a discussion of a different type of relationship, and that would be the one you have with yourself. I want to stress the importance of the relationship you have with yourself and the self-love you need to possess in order to be in a healthy relationship. Sometimes having someone by your side makes you think it helps, but I see it to be best to first work out the issues you may hold within yourself in order to be able to fully love later on in life. Give yourself some space and come back when you are ready to find someone to share everything with.

One of the last points I want to touch on would be to appreciate. Look at what you have been given and what has been put into your path and appreciate it. You could have ended up with a completely different person who could be not the best for you and you’re well being. Make sure you and your significant other make it known to one another what you see in each other, what you love but also what could be better as you should also appreciate the changes in the relationships.

I hope you have taken something from this and allow yourselves to apply it to your relationships with others and your self. Do good and not damage to one another and yourself.

Love, Kasia x